Authoritarian Zoo is a strong rip-roaring opener with wonderful lyrics ("but you went AWOL for days/and you were starting a phase/and being first on the list/getting the animals pissed/authoritarian zoo"). GBV sets the tone for another fun rock-filled outing similar to Motivational Jumpsuit, but unfortunately momentum is immediately killed with Fast Crawl. Pollard is well know for his attention to sequencing, but having Fast Crawl, a droning downer, follow the lively Authorization Zoo is not a decision I'm a fan of. Luckily Sprout's Psychotic Crush brings things back to awesome with it dazzling cosmic sounds before being brought down to the so-so realm of Costume Makes the Man. Hat of Flames picks things up again with its big sound and amazing opening verse, which if repeated, would have elevated my ranking of the song. Finally, These Dooms is dirge-like, again swinging the tempo back and forth before teasing a grand outro that never truly comes to be.
With that roller-coaster of swings between up-beat and fun tracks mixed with darker and broodier songs behind it, Cool Planet delves into a run of solid tracks throughout its remainder. Other than a couple of speed bumps (You Get Every Game and The No Doubters specifically being forgettable), the rest of the album is a great ride.
There is a brilliant part in Table at Fool's Tooth near the beginning where a booming chorus appears out of nowhere (quick hills for my eyes/there's a pusher in the wilderness) and is never revisited. Even so, Table's shifting tempos and its countless number of somewhat different parts (all in about 80 seconds) is one of the highlights on the album. Thematically linked to Psychotic Crush, Sprout takes us back to a classic rock era with All American Boy. It sounds like a song you've heard on the radio a million times before, almost as if Sprout wanted to show just how easy he could emulate rock bands from the 70s.
The infectious Pan Swimmer and its minute of pure pop goodness is followed by The Bone Church. Heavy guitars fade in on this Sprout/Mitchell collaboration that is nothing like anything else of GBV's, but continues Sprout's examination of different styles and eras of rock history, this time in the vein of something that is more Judas Priest than The Who. Bad Love is Easy to Do is set up as the album's big hit. This back and forth between Pollard and (I believe) Sprout comes across as a sequel to Keep It In Motion. Similar to Keep It In Motion, the song is mostly anchored on a repeated line that mirrors the song's title, but shows how strong these two's craftmanship is on how far they can stretch with that simplicity.
Narrated By Paul is absolutely gorgeous. Sprout is a master at just making beautiful sounding music, and his voice is perfect when matching the softness of songs like this, and also when contrasted against his heavier stuff. Cream of Lung is a neat song by Pollard that also sounds like a blast from the past. At first it sounds like we are hearing one of Pollard's short "go-nowhere's", but then there is a surprising prog-rock stadium blast at the end. I keep switching it back from "ok" to "good", and have settled on "good" for now. Males of Wormwood Mars immediately sounds like a classic GBV song with its jangly guitar rhythms trading spots with solid grungy guitar riffs. Sprout then nails it again with Ticket to Hide; a generally strong song with a great ending, with an American storyteller vibe that he has been developing so well during this era. The part at the end where he repeats "it might get louder" is just so good.
And if the album wasn't already good enough, GBV finishes with the title track that just explodes into an amazing mishmash of sounds. You'll find yourself belting "Heroes do matter! Insects do skatter!" while singing along to the anthem that is Cool Planet.
Reflecting on the six albums that comprise of the classic mid-90's GBV reuniting in the early to mid 2010's, it is amazing how they were able to pick up where they left off to deliver such solid records. There is this pattern of alternating between the worst and the best (and of course worst is still really good in this context) that the band offered during this time, with the 1st, 3rd, and 5th albums (Let's Go Eat the Factory, The Bears for Lunch, and Motivational Jumpsuit) being more inconsistent in their quality (but still solid), and the 2nd, 4th, and 6th (Class Clown Spots a UFO, English Little League, and Cool Planet) being very excellent records.
It would have been great to see this version of the band continue, but alas, Pollard would release a solo-album under the GBV brand (Please Be Honest) before re-uniting with Doug Gillard to start releasing new GBV music at a rate of about three albums a year, and along with Kevin March pretty much forming a re-uniting of the latter GBV-lineup that existing from '97 to '04.
You can read about the new ranking style here. And without further ado, here is the ranking of Cool Planet:
Among Bob's Best
-- none
Gems
12 Bad Love Is Easy to Do
14 Narrated by Paul
18 Cool Planet
Almost Gems
01 Authoritarian Zoo
03 Psychotic Crush
07 Table at Fool's Tooth
08 All American Boy
17 Ticket to Hide
They're Good
05 Hat of Flames
10 Pan Swimmer
15 Cream of Lung
16 Males of Wormwood Mars
They're OK
06 These Dooms
09 You Get Every Game
11 The Bone Church
13 The No Doubters
Could Live Without
02 Fast Crawl
04 Costume Makes the Man
Toss-Offs & Throwaways
- none
Given the scoring above, the album would get 57 points total (and an average of 3.17).
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